1, 2, 3!

Okay. Here are some life lessons for everyone.

1. When it rains be sure to have an umbrella.

Also be sure to walk around a lot of people. Because chances are, there will be a very flamboyant straight man that will dance with his umbrella to make you smile and then say a creepy "hey ladies" to you and your friend. Just image a singing in the rain, Broadway kind of umbrella dance. Or you could also compare it to Rihanna dance in her Umbrella video.

2. Make sure your fake nails are glued on nice and good.

If not. make sure that they don't fall off in the hallway. It's just gross. And really, I don't think that shade of hot pink/red suits anybody. So if you must drop them on the hallway floor, at least make them a color that I would like to look at.

3. If you want people to be nice to you, wear a short skirt.

I'm not even talking a mini skirt. Just something short enough to show some thigh. The amount of people who fall over backward to help you goes from maybe half a person when you aren't showing leg, to about 20. So if you're ever running an errand and you know you're going to need some help carrying something, or reaching something, or you're just lazy and don't want to do something....wear a skirt. It's also pretty good for your self esteem when guys call you beautiful and tell you they want to marry you.

4. Exercise.

Simple enough. But really. Do you want to be that person who gets sweaty from a five minute walk to work? Or from walking up three flights of stairs? I didn't think so. Also, there are usually some very cute boys that hang out in work out rooms. Just FYI. for those of you who care about that sort of thing.

5. Don't wear mom jeans.

They just aren't flattering. And guys. Really? Why would you wear anything that resembles a mom jean? I just don't understand. No girl is going to glance at your bum if you are. Unless it's to say, "Really, man? Those look like jeans my mom would wear." NO MORE LONG BUTT!

6. Finally, Donuts are delicious.

But be careful. I hadn't had a donut in months. And now I'm having a problem because about 20 stores in the block radius of where I live sell donuts for less than a dollar.

That's all you get for now.

Do widzenia

Kim.